You’ve got the Buckles Now Swash Them!
by IsisRose
Summary: After a car accident three friends inexplicably find themselves in the Caribbean. Written for a friend and beta for Christmas, read, review, flame, whatever floats your boat.
1. Default Chapter

You've Got the Buckles, Now Swash Them!

By: IsisRose

Disclaimer: I own nothing involving Pirates of the Caribbean, much to my great disappointment. The names of the people in this story have been changed for the protection of the author. The X's denote footnotes, which can be found at the end of the chapter. :D

Dedication: This story is dedicated to my darling beta reader Diocletian, who wanted me to write her something for Christmas, and to my favorite drunken pervert "Nat." You guys are the best. 

Chapter 1: Deer In Headlights

It was an unusually cool day for August. The sky was clouded over and it was starting to get foggy. _'It's going to be really bad when we're closer to the coast,'_ Blair thought warily to herself from behind the wheel of her silver Pontiac Sunfire. The car glided down the narrow suburban road and came to a stop in front of a white house in the heart of the small village.

Two young women stepped out of the car, both nineteen, and neither all that tall. Blair, the one who had been driving, was the shorter of the two, and had medium length dirty-blond hair, grayish blue eyes and an incredibly pale complexion. The other girl, Alexis, or Lex, was almost as pale with long dark ash hair and green eyes.

They walked up the driveway to the door and knocked. There was no answer. Blair narrowed her eyes at the door in annoyance, staring it down, almost willing it to open. This was not the first time no one had answered the door at this particular house and it would probably not be the last. "Open up, dammit!" she shouted at the defiant door as Lex laughed at her.

"They're not going to answer," her friend stated as Blair knocked again, louder than before. "They never answer."

In a bit of a huff after realizing that there was no a sign of anyone inside, Blair strode away from the house towards her car. "Oh, she's gonna damn well answer!"

"She's probably not even awake yet..." Lex called after her, trailing off as Blair crawled back into the car. "What are you doing?" she asked as her friend emerged from the vehicle with a small cell phone in hand.

"I'm going to call her," the shorter girl stated matter-of-factly, putting the phone to her ear. Alexis rolled her eyes.

"Oh right, because they always answer the phone," she muttered sarcastically.

As Alexis turned back to the door to try knocking again, she screamed at the sight of a pair of dark brown eyes staring curiously back at her from the window. At the sound, Blair smirked to herself, tossed the phone back into the car and returned to the door as it was opened. The dark brown eyes belonged to Natalie, who was more commonly known as Nat, the tallest and oldest of the three girls at twenty-one. Her hair was long and black with red streaks, and like the other two she was considerably pale, although clearly of native descent.

"Don't do that!" Alexis yelled at her, annoyed as she waited for her heart rate to return to normal. Nat just cackled to herself, amusement shining in her bloodshot eyes as she shielded them from the still-bright morning light. She then stumbled back into the darkened house, clearly hung-over. Blair and Alexis suppressed a laugh as she only just missed running into the doorframe leading into her kitchen. 

"So what are you guys doing here?" Nat asked walking over to the microwave, almost walking into the counter in the process.

"What?" Blair demanded. "I called you last night, one of the few occasions when I actually got an answer I might add, to remind you. You said you were set!"

"At least tell us you're packed?" Lex cut in mid rant.

"Oh right. That," Nat said guiltily, pulling a cup of coffee from the microwave. "Well, I started packing," she began innocently. "Then Mike showed up and we got drinking…" She continued while foraging for milk. "Suffice it to say, I spent half the night vegged out on the couch watching Euro Trip. 'Course, by the time we went to watch the movie, we were so trashed that it took us three hours of watching the start menu to realize that it wasn't the movie."X As she finished, she leaned against the counter, drinking her coffee as the others suppressed a laugh.

"That's lovely," Blair began in that sweet, innocent, manipulative tone she had perfected through years of practice.XX "But right now you should be packing." Nat just groaned into her cup.

"But I'm hung-over…" she whined.

"Well, that's your own damn fault!"XXX Blair stated vehemently. "Go on…" She began nudging Nat down the hallway towards the stairs. "Go, go, go."

"But—" Nat started to argue, turning to face them at the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh no, you don't," Lex abruptly cut her off. "You bailed on us last year, no more lame-ass excuses."

"Yeah, you're coming with. Even if we have to carry you to the car."

"And you know we will."

There was a slight pause as Nat glared at them and then she broke into a whine. "I'm being oppressed!"XXXX

"Come on…" Blair grabbed her by the arm and hauled her up the stairs. Lex remained in the hallway, turning her attention to the aquarium sitting there against the wall. Inside, sitting nonchalantly on a rock, was a three-legged bullfrog, which was staring at her with a decidedly evil glint in its eye. Lex raised her hand to the top of the tank and tapped it. As soon as her finger touched the plastic, the frog lunged at it, but bounced of the barrier with a loud thud. Blair laughed as she walked by and into the kitchen, Nat close behind her.

"Would you leave Gimpy alone?" she demanded as Lex laughed at the frog as it bounced off the plastic again.

"I'm telling you, Nat," Lex said over her shoulder. "Your frog's evil."

"She is not," replied Nat indignantly. "She's sweet."

"Evil!" Blair's voice declared from the kitchen. She walked back into the hall, carrying a flashlight. "And you," she waved the light threateningly in Nat's direction, "are supposed to be packing."

"Yeah, yeah. I need the laundry." She walked towards the basement door. "Unless you wanted to beat me with the flashlight first?" Blair glared after her.

"Don't tempt me."

After half an hour, much packing, and plenty of Nat trying to weasel her way out of the entire thing, they were on the road. After two hours of driving, the conversation had died down (mostly because Natalie was passed out in the back seat sleeping off the hangover). Lex leaned over to put her Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack in the CD player.

"Oh come on, I told you about mine," Blair whined from behind the wheel. She had spent the last fifteen minuets trying to guilt Lex into telling her the entire plot of her most recent fanfic, and she was not going to give up without the information.

"No. You already snuck all the good stuff out of me," Lex said with mock-bitterness. Blair suppressed a mild urge to cackle. "Besides, you'll have nothing to look forward to." Blair made her squeaky indignant throat noise.XXXXX

They were driving down a stretch of road near the water's edge and, as Blair had anticipated, the fog was bad. They cut a turn on a stretch of road above the water as they continued to try and weasel their stories from each other. As they did, a deer happened to wander out into the road.

The car came around the turn and the headlights shone on the stunned animal. Blair slammed on the brakes, but thanks to the amount of moisture on the pavement, the car slid off the road and over the cliff. To the accompaniment of Blair and Lex's terrified shrieks, it plummeted down into the ocean below.

The silver Sunfire slowly sank under the surface of the water with the three motionless people inside. The beginning of 'The Medallion Calls' could be heard playing inside as the car disappeared. After a moment, when the car was no longer visible and the water completely calm, a shockwave suddenly shot across the water in all directions. And then all was quiet once more.

Meanwhile, Captain Jack Sparrow stood proudly atop the mast of a… well, what used to be a boat, the remainder of which was steadily sinking. He stood stone-faced, concentrating on the approaching dock, blissfully unaware of the questioning stares he was getting from the people around him. As the boat sailed perfectly to a stop in front of the dock, the pirate confidently stepped off the mast, which was just above the water, and strode down the plank.

"Hey, hold up there, you." Jack pivoted around to see the old man he had just brushed by walking towards him with a young boy at his side and he stepped forward. "It's a shilling to tie up your boat at the dock." Jack gave a questioning look to the flag hovering above the water. "And I shall need to know your name," the harbormaster finished.

Jack dug in his pocket. "What do you say to three shillings," he inquired, putting three coins onto the open logbook. "And we forget the name?" The harbormaster paused and eyed him a moment and the boy raised an eyebrow.

"Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. Smith," he replied, snapping the book shut. Jack raised his hands in mock praise as the two continued on. Jack also continued on his way, stopping momentarily at the harbormaster's station to filch a money purse. He shook it lightly and smirked at the soft jingle before he continued walking.

A mile or so down the beach on a rather secluded stretch of sand, three figures were laying unconscious, light waves washing up around them. Slowly, they each began to stir and take in their surroundings as they pulled themselves to their feet. A low "Whoa…" was all that came from Lex as she looked around at the white sand and palm trees.

"What the fuck?" Nat added as she took in the incredible blue sky and the radical change in temperature.

Blair whipped around, all the while muttering, "Omigod, my car, where's my car?", looking for anything that remotely resembled New River Beach or any sign of her doomed Sunfire. There was none. Then she looked skyward as if to shout out to any deity that may have actually been listening.

"WHERE IN THE SEVEN CIRCLES OF HELL ARE WE!"

Footnotes:

X Sadly, this statement is based on true events.

XX This tone is copyrighted and is not to be used without permission.

XXX This statement is also copyrighted. Sorry.

XXXX This one originated from Terry Pratchett's "Guards! Guards!", which we recommend to any and everybody.

XXXXX Yet again, this noise is copyrighted to "Blair." No stealing or we'll come after you with heavy, pointy sticks.


	2. the walking trees of port royal

**You've got the Buckles Now Swash Them!**

_By: IsisRose_

Chapter 2: The Walking Trees of Port Royal

"What the fuck happened?" Nat demanded, almost accusatory.

"I don't know," Lex answered, rubbing at the cut just below her hairline, which she owed to her nasty habit of not wearing her seatbelt.X "The last thing I remember was swerving, falling, and cracking my head on the window."

"Of course," Nat flew into a rant. "This is what I get for letting Blair drive!"

"_Letting _me drive?" Blair abruptly made her trademark squeaky, indignant throat noise. "Screw you; you don't even have your license! Besides, it's not my fault. There was a deer in the road."

Nat sniggered despite herself. "I bet that gave you some Drivers Ed. flashbacks," Lex turned to her, grinning. "How is your old driving instructor anyway?"XX There was a pause.

"He… still has whiplash…" Blair grumbled, kicking at the sand. "But that is SO not the point! My driving aside, we still have yet to explain this!" She gestured frantically to the scenery around them and huffed in frustration. "I don't think we're in Canada anymore." She sighed, sinking down to the sand.

"Well, thank you, Dorothy, for that brilliant conclusion," Nat remarked dryly.

"Oh, shut up!" Blair snapped before going through her satchel and mumbling to herself. "Stranded on a tropical island… where the hell is Dom Monaghan when you need him?"

Lex stood staring down the beach intensely, a hand poised over her eyes to block out the bright sunlight. Something had caught her eye back when Blair had been in mid-rant. "Hey," she called over her shoulder to the other two girls. "I see people." She squinted harder. "_Little_, tiny people."

With that statement, the others stopped what they were doing. Blair put down the dark blue cloth purse (which looked suspiciously like a book bag) that she had been rifling through. And Nat put down the pointy stick in her hand and stopped torturing the crab she'd been attempting to take hostage.

They simultaneously ran to where Alexis was standing, almost knocking her over in the process. "Are you sure those are people?" Nat asked, unsure, putting a hand to her eyes. "They just look like little dots to me; they could be trees."

Lex sighed. "They're moving," she stated.

"They could be moving trees," Nat remarked matter-of-factly. The other two looked at her.

"Moving trees…" Blaire repeated slowly.

"Oh, you know it," Natalie replied in a conspiring tone and nodding wisely.

"Okay there, Merry." Lex rolled her eyes, earning a glare from Natalie. 

"Come on, maybe we can find a phone over there." Blair held up her purse. "My cell's dead. Damn salt water." So, the three friends began the walk down the beach towards the people/dots/moving trees.

Up at a large fort atop a cliff, Elizabeth Swann, daughter of the governor, stood in line with the other respectable ladies of Port Royal as Norrington's promotion ceremony continued. Like the rest of the ladies around her, she fanned herself dramatically. However, this action had nothing to do with the sweltering heat of the afternoon sun or creating an air of mystery. It was simply a vain attempt to keep herself from keeling over right there.

She shifted uncomfortably, hoping that maybe if she moved around a bit it would loosen the corset's hold on her. She subtly plucked at the back of the dress as she struggled to continue breathing normally and keep up the charade that everything was fine—and that her dress wasn't cutting off her circulation and that she wasn't losing the feeling in her legs—and look completely natural at the same time. 

It didn't take all that long for Blair, Natalie and Alexis to walk to civilization. The dots had indeed been people and not moving trees, much to Nat's disappointment. They were still a little ways away from the people they had been walking towards and no one had seemed to notice them. Good thing too, because as they got closer, they could tell something was not right.

"Did we stumble into some sort of historical park?" Nat asked, taking in the way people were dressed as she stopped.

"I don't know, I don't see any tourists around," Blair said uncertainly. "Something weird is going on, though." There was a short pause, then Lex's eyes bulged slightly as realization dawned on her. This place was all too familiar.

"Oh, fuck me, Freddy," she muttered to herself.

"What?" The other two chorused, looking at her, expressions of surprise and amusement on their faces. Lex, ignoring the questioning looks, promptly grabbed them both by the arm and pulled them under a very recognizable bridge.

"What the hell are you doing?" Blair demanded as Nat cried out, "Watch the nails, you manicure-handicapped Amazon!" at the same time.

"I know where we are," Lex declared, her voice filled with shock, fear, and excitement.

"Okay, you've officially managed to creep me out," Natalie replied, as if this hadn't been long coming.

Alexis narrowed her eyes at her. "Oh right, moving trees?" she asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Would you two knock it off!" Blair demanded fiercely. The other two stared at her outburst, but she ignored the reaction and turned back to Lex. "So, what's the what?"

"Oh, right. Okay, well, you guys are probably going to think I've gone completely insane or I've been dipping into Nat's stash, but I think we might be in the Caribbean."

"The Caribbean…?" Blair and Nat repeated in perplexed unison.

"More specifically, Port Royal."

Blair smiled condescendingly. "Don't be silly, dear," she said gently, as though she were talking to a simpleton or maybe an especially stupid child. "Port Royal doesn't exist anymore." Lex glared at her.

"For your information, only part of it was destroyed. And secondly, it does exist in 'Pirates of the Caribbean'." There was a slight pause as the other two just blinked. "The movie?" Lex threw in, hoping something would click.

"Lex," Nat began, slowly putting a hand on her shoulder. "Exactly how hard did you hit your head back there when Blair nearly killed us all?" Lex impatiently pushed her hand away as Blair glared at Nat.

"I'm serious. Look around, it looks exactly like it did in the movie." 

"How can you be sure of that?"

"Are you questioning my knowledge of 'Pirates of the Caribbean?" Lex demanded in a quiet, dangerous voice. Blair put up her hands in defense. "I mean, really look around for yourself," Lex finished, stepping out to the opposite side of the bridge, her friends at her heels. Blair and Nat, deciding to humor her, took a moment to look around. They were standing on the side facing the water, and it looked exactly like when Will and Jack made a break for the _Dauntless_. The beach, however, was deserted and the dock was only a short walk away.

On said dock, Jack strutted down to a part that was closer to the water, where the _Interceptor_ was docked. He sauntered by two officers who were lounging around, but at the sight of Jack they rushed out, suddenly cutting him off before he could reach the beauty floating just a few feet in front of him.

"This dock is off limits to civilians," one of the redcoats, Murtogg, stated matter-of-factly.

"I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know," Jack said, his voice slurred. "If I see one, I shall inform you immediately." He tried to pass, only to be abruptly cut off again. He glanced at them, as if sizing them up. "Apparently there's some sort of high-toned and fancy to-do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen, such as yourselves, did not merit an invitation?"

The two redcoats blinked. "Someone has to make sure this dock stays off limits to civilians," the redcoat repeated rather quickly.

"Its fine goal, to be sure," Jack commented. "But it seems to me..." He tried side-stepping to the left, but the solders moved with him. "…that a ship like that one," his gestured towards the impressive-looking _Dauntless_ anchored off shore, "makes this one here seem a bit superfluous, really." The pirate finished and the two glanced at the smaller ship docked just behind them.

"Oh, the _Dauntless_ is the power in these waters, true enough," Murtogg replied. "But there's no ship as can match the _Interceptor_ for speed." Jack put a finger to his chin thoughtfully. 

"I've heard of one. Supposed to be very fast, nigh uncatchable." He paused for dramatic effect. "The _Black Pearl_." He looked between the two men.

The other redcoat, Mullroy, just chuckled. "Well, there's no real ship as can match the _Interceptor_."

"The _Black Pearl_ is a real ship," his friend argued, but he just shook his head.

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is, I've seen it."

"You've seen it?"

"Yes." 

"You haven't seen it."

"Yes, I have," he insisted as Jack rolled his eyes, an extremely bored look on his face.

"You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?" Mullroy demanded.

"No." 

"No." Mullroy repeated triumphantly, looking at Jack as if to say, 'Can you believe this guy', who flashed him a fake half-smile. "But I have seen a ship with black sails," Murtogg added.

"Oh," Mullroy replied, turning back to his friend. "And no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil…"

During this little rant, Jack decided it was time to get away from the slightly slow gentlemen. As Mullroy continued, he slipped on board the _Interceptor_. "…That Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the _Black Pearl_. Is that what you're telling me?"

"No." 

"Like I said: There's no real ship as can match the _Intercept_…" He trailed off when he turned back toward the pirate and discovered that he'd disappeared. The two redcoats looked around and, after a moment, found him aboard the _Interceptor_.

"Hey you! Get away from there!" Mullroy called as they ran aboard, guns pointed at the pirate. "You don't have permission to be aboard there, mate."

"I'm sorry," Jack replied with his hands on the wheel, looking very reluctant to take them off. "It's just... it's such a pretty boat—ship." He quickly corrected himself.

"What's your name?" Mullroy asked.

"Smith. Or Smithy, if you like."

"What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith?" Mullroy asked, not buying it at all.

"Yeah, and no lies," his friend added, their guns still raised.

"Well then, I confess." Jack stepped away from the helm and grabbed a nearby rope, leaning on it. "It is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out."

"I said no lies," Murtogg repeated in a disbelieving tone.

"I think he's telling the truth."

"If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us."

"Unless, of course," Jack cut in, "he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you." The two solders blinked at him, completely confused.

In town, Will Turner walked leisurely down the cobble stone street of Port Royal, enjoying the sights around him and the warmth of the afternoon sun. He was in no hurry to return to the smithy, and so, deciding he'd get a drink before returning to work, he wandered into the local tavern and sat down at his usual table by the window. 

"Afternoon Will," a familiar voice greeted. He turned to see the friendly smiling face of Sarah. The waitress was a tall, slender woman of about thirty-five and always seemed to have a smile on her face. Will smiled at her warmly. "What'll it be? Usual?" she asked. Will was one of her regulars.

"That'll be fine, Sarah. Thank you," he replied, using that polite yet stiff manner he had. He turned back to the window as she walked to the bar. She returned a few moments later with his drink. He took a sip, still looking out into the street. At the end of it, over a row of shrubs, he could just make out the _Dauntless_ floating in the bay.

A voice calling his name brought him out of his thoughts. He turned to see a young man about his age walking towards him and he smiled warmly in welcome.

"Where you been?" asked the young man as he sat down and took a drink from his mug.

"I went to see the governor today; he wanted his order delivered." 

"Oh, right. That fancy sword you've been working on for the Commodore." Will nodded as he took another drink. "Well, what'd he think?" his friend asked.

Will paused and cringed inwardly as Governor Swann's words echoed through his mind. 'Give my complements to your master.' Will smiled grimly. "Well, he liked it."

"What the fuck!" Blair raved. "How the hell did we end up in the freakin' Caribbean?" Nat and Lex stood off to the side, patiently waiting for her to stop freaking out. "Let alone the freakin' 1600's, how the hell are we supposed to get home, and what the fuck happened to my car!" She stopped here, unable to go on without taking a breath.

"I blame Nat," Lex offered suddenly.

"What? Why are you blaming me?"

"It's just easier that way."

Nat paused a moment. "Ah, well." She sighed, shaking her head and sitting down while fishing for something in her pocket.

"I am seriously calling your sanity into question right now." Blair stated vehemently. "And I think you're contagious."

"Look around, Blair. What do you see?" Lex asked her mockingly, sitting down next to Nat, who had just pulled a plastic baggie from her pocket.

"Oh fine, I'll commit myself as soon as I find my car... Natalie!" She suddenly scolded the girl who was lighting up. "This is neither the time nor the place."

Nat just raised her eyebrows. "Hey, we're in Jamaica. I'd say this is the perfect place."

"How are we going to get home?" Lex asked miserably.

"I know," Nat said, sounding like she had the most brilliant idea. "We shall sacrifice a virgin to the golden bear god."XXX

Lex rolled her eyes at the concept of made-up gods based on Blair's old jewelry and said nothing, simply humming some mindless tune to try and distract herself. Blair turned back from looking out over the water and gave Nat an inquisitive, though not entirely serious look. "Why are we always sacrificing virgins?"

"It's a theme," Nat stated confidently. Blair sighed and went back to watching the scenery. "Now," Nat muttered to herself thoughtfully, "where am I going to find a virgin?"

Lex stopped humming to herself as she felt someone watching her. She turned to see Nat leering at her. "Oh, fuck off!"

**Footnotes:**

X actual habit, but have learned to wear it when "Blair" is behind the wheel.

XX "Drivers Ed flashback" sadly based on true events.

XXX Inspired by an actual conversation or rather a note passed in study hall.


	3. Crazy My Ass

**You've Got the Buckles Now Swash Them!**

**Chapter 3: Crazy my ass! **

Elizabeth stood on top of the fort with the newly appointed Commodore Norrington, who had just asked to speak with her. As they approached the ledge, Elizabeth caught herself on the wall as she discreetly tried to regulate her breathing.

"Uh, you look lovely, Elizabeth," he commented and she put on a fake smile as he turned to look at her. "I, uh, apologize if I seem forward," he continued, turning away from her. "But I must speak my mind. This promotion throws into sharp relief that which I have not yet achieved." He turned back to look at her. "A marriage to a fine woman. You have become a fine woman, Elizabeth."

Many women would have appeared as Elizabeth did in the current situation, flustered and gasping as she was, but her state had nothing to do with the proposal. She had barely heard what he was babbling on about as she was distracted by the losing battle she was fighting with her corset. "I can't breathe…" she choked out finally and he turned away from her again.

"Yes, I, I'm a bit nervous myself," he went on.

But as the Commodore was babbling on about his nerves, Elizabeth had fainted, and fallen into the water below with a loud splash. "Elizabeth?" He turned back to see where she had fallen. "Elizabeth!" He jumped up onto the ledge to jump in after her when his men came running.

"The rocks!" They pulled him back. "Sir, it's a miracle she missed them."

"And then they made me their chief…"

The sound of a loud splash cut Jack off mid-story. The pirate and the soldiers looked towards the sound and ran to the side of the ship when they realized what it was. Observing that no one else was going to do it, Jack turned to Mullroy. "Will you be saving her then?" he asked almost hopefully.

"I can't swim." Jack looked to Murtogg, who just shook his head. 

"Pride of the King's navy, you are." He grumbled, pulling off his coat, hat and weapons. "Do not lose these," he commanded as he threw them at the officers before promptly swan-diving off of the ship.

Blair stood, brooding in silence about Lex and her overly imaginative, inane theory that they had landed in a Disney movie. As she did this, she was also surveying the scenery, looking for signs of civilization. Alexis sat, brooding in silence about Blair and her holier-than-thou, I'm-right-and-you're-all-fucking-crazy attitude(1). And Natalie sat in a circle of purple leprechauns, grinning like an idiot, happily humming the tune to "A Pirate's Life for Me".

While looking over towards the fort, Blair called out as she saw two people appear at the top. "Hey! I see people."

"Are they dead?" Nat asked, getting to her feet with sudden interest. 

"No," Blair replied flatly. Nat seemed slightly disappointed and promptly gave an unexpected yell as she suddenly fell on her face. Lex nudged the older girl in the shoulder with her toe and watched in amusement as Nat struggled to pull herself up.

She managed to get herself up so that she was kneeling in the sand, and then her eyes widened as she caught sight of a small, twitchy, brown creature, which was staring at her warily. "Hey! That dog has a puffy tail!" She leapt to her feet and began to run around with her arms outstretched as if she were trying to catch something. "Hehehe, here Puff! Here Puff! Hehehe." (2)

"Nat, would you leave that poor dog alone," Blair called over her shoulder, not willing to take her eyes away from the fort.

"Um, Blair?" Lex came to stand next to her. "There is no dog. I think she's actually chasing a squirrel." They whipped around at the sound of a blood-curdling scream behind them. They turned to see Nat running, seemingly away from something, arms flailing out in front of her, screaming.

"Teeth, it has teeth!" Blatantly ignoring her spaz attack, the other two girls turned away and continued to watch the figures at the fort. 

Lex put a hand to her eyes and squinted, trying to focus. "Hey, that's Elizabeth," Lex stated confidently.

"Whoa, that _was_ Elizabeth," retorted Blair with the faintest hint of a giggle as they watched said governor's daughter topple suddenly off the fort.

"I thought you didn't believe me," Lex observed sarcastically.

"I don't," Blair replied in the sweetest of tones. "I'm just humoring your delusion." (3) Lex swatted her hand away as she attempted to pat her head patronizingly.

There was a tense silence, one girl glaring, the other grinning like a smartass. Then someone switched the light on, in a manner of speaking, as realization dawned on Lex for the second time in one day. She was doing well. "If Elizabeth was up there," she began pointing, "and now she's there, then that would mean that Jack is on that boat floating just down there."

When she finished, they both looked towards the Interceptor. Alexis broke into a sprint in the direction of the docks. She didn't feel like sticking around to hear Blair tell her how crazy she was. Rolling her eyes, Blair turned, grabbed Natalie by the shirt collar as she ran by, arms still flailing, and followed Lex in order to pull her ass out of whatever trouble she was about to get herself into.

The three ran, feet thudding dully on the wooden dock as they reached it, then they came to a halt as they felt an invisible wave pass over them. "What the hell was that?" Nat demanded when she caught her breath.

The sky darkened and the wind picked up. Lex paused, scanning the water. "The medallion calls," she murmured.

She suddenly took off at a run down to the end of the dock. The other two followed, Blair muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "Drama Queen," under her breath the whole time. (4)

(1) This attitude is copyrighted. Sorry.

(2) Sadly, we stole this from "The Simpson's", but it does sound like something "Nat" would do.

(3) We didn't actually make up this quote, but "Blair" can't remember for the life of her where she coughBlatantlycough stole it from.

(4) From the beta: She really is a Drama Queen.


	4. Every Woman For Herself : Part 1

**You've Got the Buckles Now Swash Them!**

**By: IsisRose**

**Chapter 4: Every Woman For Herself : Part 1 **

**(unedited version) **

The girls reached the end of the dock only to find clearblue water; there was no sign of some one drowning. The only disturbance on the surface was a few waves from the wind that had picked up.

"Ah-ha!" Blair stated victoriously while jabbing Lex in the shoulder in a manner that screamed _'I told you that you were fucking crazy maybe next time you'll listen to me!' _But her smug smirk was quickly replaced by a _smacked-in-the-face_ open-mouth and wide eyes as two heads broke the surface. One of which was wrapped in a red bandana.

"HA!" Lex countered with her own triumphant jab that shouted back, _'Humor that, bitch!'_

'_This can't be happening!' _Blair thought to herself, looking like she'd just watched someone run over her dog, back up and do it again. _'It's not possible. It defies every basic logic there is… a hallucination, that's it! It has to be a hallucination…' _

"Ummm… Blair?…" Came Natalie's worried voice breaking Blair out of her inner rant. "Are you okay? You look like you're having a stroke."

Before Blair could respond however all three of them were none too gently pushed aside by two armed men in red uniforms.

"Out of the way…"

One called vaguely in their direction, although it was obvious neither of them had actually paid them any attention. The soldiers leaned over the dock to pull a very wet, very real Elizabeth Swann out of the water and gently set her down on the wooden planks. Meanwhile a very wet, very real Jack Sparrow was pulling himself out of the water.

None of them however seemed to notice the three very out of place young women who stood watching them play out this scene in fascinated silence, each with an expression on their face depicting their inner most thoughts at that moment.

Blair: It's not real it can't be real. You're a calm, rational, intelligent person… you're not crazy. It's them! They're crazy and they're sucking you into their delusions!

_Lex: Wow, he's hott when wet… this is wild… but weird… but so awesome… but weird… huhh… this must be what it's like to be a cameraman._

_Nat: There once was a girl from Port Royal… Hellloooo Miss Swann! _

"She's not breathing." Mullroy stated leaning over the unconscious heiress.

"Move!" Jack barked pushing the soldiers aside and in almost one motion he pulled a knife, sliced the lacings and ripped off Elizabeth's corset. She jerked to life spouting up water as Jack tossed the offending garment vaguely at Murtogg to his right.

"I never would have thought of that." Commented Mullroy leaning in closer. Jack turned to him.

"Clearly you've never been to Singapore." As he turned his attention back to Elizabeth something caught his eye.

The three girls who were still watching intently looked over at the sound of heavy footfalls to see the Commodore and his men sprinting down the docks towards them followed closely by Elizabeth's father.

Natalie took a step forward and opened her mouth to say something. Before she could get a word out however, the other two simultaneously clamped their hands over her mouth and drew her back a few feet from where they were standing.

Although both Lex and Blair had a different take on the situation, one refusing to believe it no matter how real it was and one loving every minute of it. They both had the same thing in mind; no one seemed to acknowledge their presence and they weren't even sure if Norrington and company had even seen them at all as they were slightly preoccupied with Elizabeth's "rescue". Either way drawing attention to themselves now could only spell bad.

Elizabeth's eyes widened as her mind struggled to process what was happening as the man kneeling over her reached out. Jack plucked the gold medallion from its place around her neck, her eyes followed him as he lifted it closer. The skull on the face of the coin grinned up at him mockingly. His eyes grew serious as he looked to Elizabeth with a very sober expression.

"Where did you get that?" His question came out almost distant. Before an answer could be found however the sharp edge of the Commodore's new sword was placed comfortably under Jack's chin causing him to raise his head.

"On your feet." The Commodore commanded dangerously. Probably following the blade rather then the actual order Jack complied, dropping the medallion and raising his hands in surrender as he rose to his feet.

"Elizabeth!" Governor Swann called pushing passed the officers to reach his daughter. "Are you alright?" He asked pulling her to her feet.

"Yes, I'm fine," She replied quietly tucking the medallion away out of sight as her father wrapped her in his coat. His eyes followed his daughters to the scruffy looking man then to Murtogg standing just next to him.

It took the officer a moment to realize he was being stared at and another to realize why. He looked down at the pink corset he'd been holding onto and with a jump of surprise he promptly dropped the garment and pointed an accusing finger at Jack.

"Shoot him." Governor Swann demanded simply. The soldiers who didn't already have their guns on him quickly took aim.

"Father."

"What?" The old Governor exclaimed, but Elizabeth went on as if he hadn't spoken.

"Commodore?" She moved on to the man who only a moment ago was confessing his affections for her. "Do you really intend to kill my rescuer?" He paused; mulling it over then enviably gave in to Elizabeth's pleading look. With a slight nod of his head for his men to lay down arms, he sheathed his sword. Jack raised his hands in praise to Elizabeth.

"I believe thanks are in order." Norrington stated extending a hand as more soldiers marched over the bridge to view the scene.

The girls still watched quietly not so much with fascination anymore but more with a sense of bewilderment. How was it that no one noticed them? They weren't exactly inconspicuous, the t-shirts and jeans were a dead give away.

What did they have to do? Blair thought indignantly, wave a big neon sign that said 'will lap dance for second glance'. Lex didn't know weather to be relived or insulted at the fact that they could be overlooked so easily, Nat on the other hand didn't really care.

After a brief moment of hesitation Jack accepted the Commodore's offered hand then kicked himself mentally as his arm was yanked forward and his sleeve pushed up to reveal the capital 'P' branded into his skin.

"Had a brush with the East India trading company, did we, pirate?"

"Hang him." Came another one of the Governor's casual demands, as the men took aim once more.

"Keep you're guns on him men," Norrington ordered eyeing Jack's wrist. "Gillette, fetch some irons." As the young officer padded away Norrington yanked up Jack's sleeve further. "Well, well, well," He drawled at the sight of the tattoo just above the brand. "Jack Sparrow, is it?"

Jack pulled his arm back, "Capitan Jack Sparrow, if you please sir."

"Well I don't see you're ship Capitan." Norrington sneered.

"His said he'd come to commandeer one." Murtogg said suddenly.

"I told you he was telling the truth." Mullroy snapped at him. "These are his sir." He said bending down to scoop up Jacks things and offer them to his commander like a good little solder. Norrington drew the pistol and examined it.

"No additional shot nor powder," He announced replacing it moving on to the little black box. "A compass that doesn't point North." He unsheathed the cutlass halfway and at the glint of steel he smiled sarcastically at Jack as he replaced it. "And I half expected it to be made of wood." He snapped the compass shut. "You are with out a doubt the worst pirate I have ever heard of."

What happened next seemed to happen all at once, it seemed to happen so fast and in slow motion at the same time. Jack put his finger up to retort to Norrington's comment, which was all it took. Natalie couldn't take it any more she dashed forward the other two made a grab for her but it was too late. She rushed forward coming to a stop behind Jack, peering over his arm one arm around his neck the other up to meet his own.

"But," She stated before Jack could. "You have heard of him." Blair and Alexis were horrified as all eyes fell on her.

Norrington's expression never wavered as his gaze fell on Natalie. "And who exactly are you?" He questioned. She blinked at him in her still partially stoned stupor.

"I think the bigger question, is are you?" She questioned pointing at him.

"I am Commodore Norrington, a commander of this fort. Now you will answer my question." There was a pause as Nat's brow furrowed slightly in confusion.

"Commodore?" She burst out, "What the hell kind of name is Commodore?" Lex and Blair did a simultaneous face palm.

"We need to stop her." Lex muttered in a low singsong voice from around her wrist.

"Right." She agreed. "You excuse, I'll restrain." They moved forward, Blair grabbing Nat by the belt loop and pulling her back while Lex jumped in to take her place, stopping to give Jack a small smile and a little 'hi' before moving on to the commodore.

"Just ignore her," she insisted of Norrington in what she hoped was a humble voice. "She's my brother's, sister's, uncle's, cousin adopted from a traveling circus….. crrraaaazy…." She added in a hushed tone behind her hand.

Alexis, was known as a fast talker for two reasons, one: she could come up with an alibi faster than Natalie could corrupt an innocent mind, and two: in certain situations she had a tendency to just talk too fast. As a result there was a pause as Norrington, Jack, and everyone else processed what just came out of this strange girls mouth.

It didn't take long for the Commodore's gaze to switch from one of intense concentration to the same glare he'd been sending Jack. He looked her up and down, surveying her strange attire then over her shoulder at the other two.

Lex took in the traveling eyes and under other circumstances she probably would have slapped him, she was definitely in range. Of course so were the nice men with the big guns, that was probably the fact that stayed her hand as she noticed with a sinking feeling were not just aiming for Jack anymore.

"And what exactly is your business in Port Royal?" Norrington demanded.

"Ummm….Well," Lex began in a small voice trying to come up with something convincing.

"Speak up!" Norrington barked at her. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

The rest of the audience was beginning to fidget, Jack was beginning to look board and Natalie broke free of Blair's grip rushing to what she thought was her friends aid. Instead she completely plowed her out of the way causing Lex to almost land on her face, which she would have if Murtogg hadn't been right there.

"I object to your brash interrogations!" Nat called planting herself firmly in front of the Commodore.

"On what grounds?" He demanded, voice ever the indication of patience wearing thin.

"On the grounds that that wig make you look like a nancy-boy." Nat stated, hands on her hips triumphantly. Blair and Lex did another face palm take and Blair wondered idly if she could make it to the end of the dock and swim for it without any one noticing, it was unlikely. There was a suppressed snicker from Jack but Norrington's expression never wavered.

"Murtogg," He looked over at the officer who still had a hold on Lex's shoulders but seemed to reconsider, his eyes flicked to Mollroy at the pirate's side that was no good either. "Entwhistle,"(1) he finally came out with. "Restrain this…" He looked Natalie up and down and sneered. "woman."

A young officer moved forward and attempted to do just that. "Back off wig man!" She warned putting her hands up and karate chopping his hands away. The young man eyed her nervously. "You don't know who you're messing with."

She did a few more half assed chopping moves, Lex snickered to herself, Blair rolled her eyes and Norrington was beginning to turn an interesting shade of red. For a moment Blair actually thought she saw steam coming out of his ears but that could have been the fog that was steadily rolling in.

"Then for the love of God! Out with it! Tell us! Tell us who the… what the bloody hell you people are!" He roared finally, redrawing his sword.

As a commanding officer people were used to hearing Norrington yell this was however the first time anyone had ever seen him lose his head. Elizabeth, her father, the soldiers, and even Jack took a cautious step back from the suddenly crazy man with the pointy object. Blair and Lex held their breath in attempt to not burst out laughing at Nat as she suddenly sober at the sight of the sword, took on the wide eyed look of a puppy that's just been caught pissing on the carpet.

"Speak!"

"We..." Nat began a little louder and a little higher then she meant to. Taking a breath and clearing her throat she continued. " We… ah, ummm… we, we're…"

Lex sighed to herself, they'd be out of here and sight seeing by now if Nat had just let her do the talking, but no. Standing there watching her babble on while she had a fully formed back story rolling around in her head was like slow torture. Nat began looking around desperately for a source of inspiration.

"We are… three…" her eyes fell on Jack. Pirate's?… no "very…" Blair? English majors?… no "very powerful…" Lex?… light bulb!

Lex didn't like the look Nat had just sent her and her gut told her something horrible was going to happen.

"Witches…" (2)

And there it was, all packed into one single word. Blair froze in her attempts to inch away, her heart almost skipping a beat as her blood turned to ice in her veins. Lex shared her chilly feeling of imminent disaster and suddenly had the urge to toss her breakfast all over Jack's boots.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said," Nat stated making her voice clear and bringing herself up to her full height, which wasn't really tall compared to Norrington. "We are three very powerful witches." She finished with as much false authority as she could muster.

Blair and Lex groaned, Governor Swann pulled his daughter closer, some of the men drew back slightly and mutter little prayers, Murtogg released his grip on Lex's shoulders and Jack looked mildly amused. Norrington, however, did not look impressed.

"And," Nat continued striding forward with all the deluded confidence of someone who has absolutely no clue and poking the commodore square in the chest. "if you don't let us go right now I'll slap a curse on you so nasty it'll make your man parts fall off."

Norrington looked at her with a deadpan expression. "Arrest them!" He ordered in the sort of voice that made you follow and not ask why.

Murtogg resumed his hold on Lex, this time securing her hands. She hung her head in defeat not bothering to struggle but Jack could have sworn he heard a muttered 'son of a bitch' come from behind her dark locks.

Blair was a different story, not so resigned to her fate she attempted to run. She didn't get more then four strides before she was seized by the arms by two red coats who began to literally drag her kicking and screaming. The kicking being more of a dull thudding as her sandaled feet were towed over wooden planks and the screaming consisted of a stream of.

"NOOOOOOO! DON'T LISTEN TO THE CRAZY CIRCUS FREAK! THEY DON'T SPEAK FOR ME, I DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE! LEGO! NOOOO!"

They finally managed to subdue her and it only took four rifles pointed her way but the mouth was closed. Nat was having her own brand of spaz attack, struggling against the soldiers that held her and attempting to lung at Norrington.

"You asked for it this time pansy man!" With that she began spewing babble none of which was in the same language and of which none of it was in English.

"What kind of language is that?" Murtogg asked from behind Lex to no one particular.

"I kind of sounds like a mix of Latin and French words with a few Native American words thrown in." Commented Lex trying to decipher the string of words. Jack leaned over to whisper in her ear.

"What's she sayin?" Lex's brow furrowed in concentration as she focused on the words, clicking her tong as they came together.

"Something…" She began slowly as her brain processed. "About a man from Nantucket?" She finished with uncertainty. (3)

"Enough!" Norrington screeched, losing his temper for the second time in ten minuets. The abrupt sound of his voice made Lex jump a little. "For the love of God will you detain them!" He berated his officers, he turned to the two holding a still squirming Nat. "Gag that one. And you!" He finished by grabbing Jack by the arm and dragging him down the dock, the three 'witches' were tailed after them.

Elizabeth acting on that 'heroic' streak of hers tossed down her father's coat and strode forward with determination.

"Commodore, I really must protest." She stated planting herself between the commodore and Jack as he was passed off to Lieutenant Gillette who was fitting him with a pair of irons. The girls were at that moment also being shackled by their respective officers. "Pirate or not this man saved my life."

"One good deed is hardly enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness." Replied Norrington sternly.

"Though it seems enough to condemn him." Jack commented over Elizabeth's shoulder.

"Indeed."

At that moment the Lieutenant finished the fastening of Jack's shackles and let go of him, most likely under the assumption that the pirate was now harmless. That assumption blew up in his face as Jack immediately muttered as small 'finally' and threw the chain that bound him around Elizabeth's neck. Blair snickered to herself, amused at watching Elizabeth get all bug-eyed.

"No! Don't shoot!" The governor bellowed at the officers who were poised to fire.

"I knew you'd warm up to me." He derided the Governor. "Commodore Norrington, my effects please?" Jack demanded in a clam clear tone. "And my hat." He added as an after thought. No one moved. "Commodore," He prompted with a slight tug on the chain. Norrington immediately motioned for his things to be brought forward. "Elizabeth, it is Elizabeth isn't it?" He addressed the heiress.

"It's Miss Swann." She hissed with tense indignation.

"Miss Swann, if you would be so kind," She didn't move. "Come, come dear we don't have all day." He continued, as Norrington thrust Jack's things into her arms, the pirate straight away drawing the pistol for extra insurance and spinning her round to face him. "Now if you'll be very kind."

Glaring at him Elizbeth began returning his possession to his person and Jack being Jack couldn't help but flash the commodore a wicked smile over Elizabeth's shoulder as he watched him and the governor squirm, but it quickly faded as Elizabeth got a little rough.

"Easy on the goods darling," He grunted at her as she fixed him with an icy glare.

"You're despicable."

"Sticks n stones luv, I saved your life you save mine, we're squared." With that he whipped her back around to face the crowd. "Gentlemen," he announced beginning to back up towing Elizabeth with him. "Milady's" He gave a little nod and charming smile to the three 'witches' among the armed men. "You will always remember today as the day you almost caught Capitan Jack Sparrow."

That said he pushed the young lady into the crowd of would-be saviors and turned to make his escape.

Chaos ensued and as Lex was being entertained by the situation she didn't even notice her captors had abandoned her. Her sight seeing was interrupted by the sensation of some one pinching her ass, she spun around ready to smack whom ever it was only to be met by Natalie, smirking evilly and with a finger to her lips signaling her to be quiet. It was then that Lex noticed the definite lack of soldiers; they were completely unattended at the back of the crowed with a clear shot for freedom.

Nat gave a jerk of her head indicating for her to follow. As Nat made her way to freedom Lex looked back to get Blair's attention and paused as her other friend was lost in a sea of red coats, so with a shrug she padded after Nat.

As Jack dashed across the bridge arms flailing and bullets flying after him, Norrington glared at his retreating form. He turned back to tell his men to take the remaining three to the hold but found that there was only one left.

A low growl escaped him and he turned to Gillette. "Lieutenant, Mister Sparrow has a dawn appointment with the gallows. I would hate for him to miss it, find me those women as well." As Gillette padded off to carry out his orders Norrington turned to the officer closest to Blair. "Take this one away."

The officer grabbed her nun to gently by the arm as her head snapped up. _"This one? What about the other two, the ones who started this whole fucking thing?"_ Her inner voice screamed as her head whipped around franticly. She found her answer. "wha…" She whimpered and tossed her head back breaking into a defeated whine. "How could they leave me!"

Will sat with John finishing off their second round at their quiet little table when another young man came running in out of breath and clearly excited about something.

"Daniel, what's happened?" John inquired of the new arrival. "You look as if you've just seen ol' Misses Gibson runnin naked down the street again."

"Chasing the chickens was she?" Will added with a smirk. Daniel paused a moment to shudder at the thought.

"No, I've just come from the docks." He informed taking a seat as Sarah returned with refills. "One please," He nodded in her direction. "Anyway, I was out for a walk when a bunch of soldiers come runnin past, almost run me over. I followed to see what the fuss was about. I get to the docks an Norrington's got a whole bloody mess of em' down there arresting a man and three women."

"What for?" The two questioned eagerly.

"I asked the same thing," Daniel continued as Sarah sat down his drink. "Turns out the mans a pirate, though not surprised by the looks of em. But the women; one of the soldiers told me they's witches." At that John almost choked on his drink.

"Witches?" He cried incredulously.

"In Port Royal?" Added Will. "Are you mad?"

"But it's true one admitted it, all in strange clothes and peculiar manner of speech, one who confessed started speakin in tongues an cursing the Commodore. I saw it with me own two eyes."

"So it'll be a hangin tomorrow I s'pose." John muttered into his mug.

"Not quite," Clarified Daniel after a large drink. "They got away… or at least the pirate an two of the witches. So I s'pose there'll be the one of them left to dance with ol' Jack."

"Three?" Questioned Will incredulously, always the righteous citizen. "How could any of them escape when they were surrounded?"

"Pirate got a hold of the governor's daughter an used her to get away." Daniel recounted with fond recollection. "It was quite the show."

"Elizabeth?" Will questioned, his voice betraying a note of panic.

"Oh, she's fine." Insisted Daniel waving it of. "Bit ruffled is all, probably quite a shock for her. The pirate got away though an two a the witches used the distraction to sneak off."

At that moment a commotion broke the almost silence out side and the three turned their attention to the window. A swarm of red coats flew past heading down the road towards docks. They turned back to each other with questioning glances, picking up his mug Will turned his attention back to the window as the other two fell into conversation.

Lifting his mug to take a drink, Will stopped halfway to his mouth as two oddly dressed young women ran by, shackled arms flailing out in front of them. He blinked a few times as they disappeared from sight. Shrugging it off he brought the mug the rest of the way to his lips and paused again as a man in swash buckling garb ran by, also shackled arms flailing out in front of him. He blinked again, looked down at his drink, carefully set it back down on the table and cleared his throat getting the attention of the other two.

"I-I think I should be getting back to work." He informed them as he got up and walked blankly to the door.

Once the door shut behind Will, John tuned to Daniel with a critical eye.

"Why'd you have to go and tell him about Elizabeth for? Now you got him in a right flap."

"Oh he'll get over it." (4)

(1) "Entwhistle" is a character from the Canadian show "Blackfly" played by Colin Mochrie

(2) "Lex" is a wiccan hence being the inspiration of "Nat's" crazed tale

(3) This was also borrowed from the show "Blackfly"

(4) I wrote the Will in the bar bit two answer two nagging questions I've been asking since watching the move. Where was Will between the time he left Elizabeth's to the time he retuned to the smithy and how did he know about Elizabeth's brush with Jack if he was never there.


	5. Every Woman For Herself: Part 2

I Own Nothing!

**You've got the Buckles Now Swash Them!**

**Chapter 5: Every Woman For Herself- Part 2 **(unedited)

Alexis and Natalie came to a stop in a small alleyway. Lex breathed out bringing her hands to her face as she fell back against the wall. She shook slightly and Nat paused looking slightly concerned.

"Are you okay?" She asked quietly, Lex lowered her hands and Nat realized she was laughing.

"That," she choked out between giggles, "was so close." She sighed and began to really look at their surroundings. As Nat did the same, she noticed something was very wrong with that particular picture.

"Wait, where's Blair?"

"Who knows." Lex replied simply.

"What?" Nat demanded incredulously. "You mean you didn't get her when we left?"

"No. And since when was it my job to 'get' her?"

"I got you, you were supposed to get her. That's the way it works!"

"Oh that's easy for you to say. I was standing next to you, she was surrounded by red coats! What was I supposed to do? Tap 'em on the shoulder and say 'scuse, me, but I need to borrow my friend for a quick sec, while we make our get a way.' Right. "

"Well you could have done something." Nat reasoned.

"Don't rag at me, I'm not her fuckin keeper! And don't give me that look. Expecting me to be all 'Poor Blair' when she was ready and willing to ditch us at the first sign of trouble. She landed herself in it and she can fend for her own damn self!"

"I can't believe you!"

"Me?… Me! What about you!"

"What?" Nat questioned actually managing to achieve an amount of actual innocence.

"This," Lex raised her arms and spread them snapping the chain taut. "is all on you. Witches? It's the seventeenth century Nat, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I… was thinking… it's the seventeenth century, they'd believe me. An… maybe get scared and let us go…" Nat finished lamely lowering her eyes to the ground.

"Natalie, think back to history class, do you even remember the seventeenth century? Or what they did to," She paused for air quotes, "witches then? Remember Salem? Remember the trials, the torture, the fire?" Her voice dropped to a tone of true disappointment. "Congratulations, you've successfully managed to screw us over."

Before Nat, whose expression was enough to break the coldest heart, could reply, Lex had disappeared through a side door. Hearing shouts of soldiers from the main street Nat quickly followed her into the building. Moving quickly, looking over her shoulder Nat didn't notice that Lex had stopped and ran smack into her.

"Hey, what the…" She trailed off as she saw why Lex had stopped with no warning.

They were in a very large, very familiar room. A smithy to be exact and it was just as they had remembered it from the movie. They walked further in taking in the experience of standing in the middle of all the swords wheels and tools, and the air was sweltering hot from the stone forge.

Nat's eyes were drawn to the snoring figure of Mr. Brown and she smirked suddenly overcome with the urge to throw things at him and see if she could get them in his open mouth. But the thought was gone as Lex grabbed hold of her chain pulling her back to the door they had come through.

"This is bad, this is…" she paused in her muttering at the sound of voices in the ally way and made an instant dash for the front door, Nat being yanked along. "really, really bad…" She finished keeping her voice low.

"What are…"

"Shhhhh!" Lex hissed as she hopped up the stone step, Nat lowered her voice hopping up after.

"What are we doing?" Lex moved to open the door.

"We have to get out of here before…" She was cut off as the door snapped open and in sprang Capitan Jack Sparrow in all his shackled glory. Lex let out a yell of surprise at the sudden entrance and jumped back a bit knocking into Nat, who stepped back to gain some room.

It was room she didn't have; as her foot hit the edge of the stone step she began to teeter as gravity took over and as she fell back she instinctively grabbed hold of the nearest thing to steady herself; the nearest thing being Lex's hair. So instead of steadying herself she brought Lex down with her, or she would have if Jack hadn't reached out and grabbed hold of the chains binding Lex's arms. So there they were trapped in a twisted game of tug-o-war.

Nat on the very corner of the ledge, almost completely horizontal, the only thing keeping her suspended is the grip she had on Lex's hair. Jack, feet planted, sword in one hand chain in the other, trying to keep both girls upright and fall with them. And Lex was trapped between them bent back from Nat pulling her with her but still standing from the grip Jack had on her chain. She was stuck with nowhere to go as she was pulled in two different directions.

She gritted her teeth to keep from yelling out as she was not sure if there were still people at the back door. The pain was intense; if Natalie didn't rip her hair out Jack was going to pull her arms off. Soldiers be damned they didn't break down the door when she yelled at the door opening, and she couldn't take it anymore.

"For somebody's sake one of you better let… YAHHH!…" There was a dull thud and a slight moan then silence.

Slowly sheathing his sword Jack took a step peering over the side of the stone ledge to see the girls lying stunned in a tangled heap. Without a word Jack leapt down off the stone step and took their hands pulling them to their feet.

"Nat…" Lex began slowly as Nat's hand was still fisted in her dark locks.

"Yeah Lex?"

"You can let go now."

"Oh, okay…" To Lex's relief she freed her hand from hair.

"Sorry 'bout that." Jack apologized as Lex rubbed her throbbing skull.

"No your not." Nat snapped.

"Alright, I'm not." He shrugged, "But I did act the gentleman and help you up, so now how 'bout you give us a hand an help ol' Jack out of these irons eh?" He held out his shackled hands smiling a glinting smile, Nat just raised an eyebrow.

"What are we supposed to do?"

"Well you're witches aren't ye? Just wave your wand er twiddle your thumbs or whatever it is ye do so's I can be on me merry." They blinked at him a moment.

"You think," Lex began I the I'm-gonna-use-little-words-so-you-can-understand-me- tone, which reminded Nat of Blair. "if we could do that we'd be walking around here like this?" They brandished their own irons.

"Well then what good are ye?" Jack demanded, "I thought you were supposed to be all powerful."

"We are." Nat insisted earning a snort from Lex who went on muttering about the awesome power of the dirty limerick.

"I'm sure you are." Jack encouraged Natalie with a pat on the shoulder. "But even so," he continued grabbing Lex by the chain and dragged her towards the workbench. "Give us a hand." Removing his hat and setting down he plucked a hammer from the bench, then, as Lex knew it would the bottle slipped from Mr. Brown's hand causing Jack to turn and notice the sleeping man for the first time.

He crept over to the drunken blacksmith as Nat came to stand by Lex, both watching intently as he prodded him a bit, then fake walking away and to whirling around and yelling at him; Lex surprised the urge to swoon fan-girlishly.

- - -

On the other side of Port Royal, Blair was grudgingly being escorted down a flight of stone steps and towards an empty cell.

"But, but, but I haven't done anything. I'm innocent damn it! You can't do this to me!"

"Oh, but we can." Stated one of the soldiers whom Blair recognized both from the movie and the docks as Lieutenant Gillette. "You have been charged with a serious offence, the confession of witchcraft bares the penalty of death. You are here by a prisoner of the crown until noon tomorrow when you will face the gallows."

"Confession!" She all but screamed indignantly, as her shackles were removed and she was pushed inside the cell. "I've confessed to nothing, it was all that crack pot at the pier arrest her!" she grasped on to the bars as the door was shut and locked.

"I am a Christian god damn it!" She paused at the narrowed eyes and supposed taking the lords name in vain was probably not the best way to make her point. "I'm mean… LOOK!" She shouted brandishing the tiny silver cross that hung around her neck. "I am a Christian, how many witches do you know who wear crosses? An, and listen I can prove it. 'Our father who art in heaven thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven…" She faltered. "Ummmm…" They began to leave.

"No, no, no, no, wait there's more, I know there's more! Or… I knew it." They began up the stairs. "Deny thy father and refuse thy name! No!… Damn it that's Shakespeare." She mentally kicked herself and cursed her memory as she reached out pathetically at the last soldier as he disappeared from sight. "Pllleeeaaasssssse… come back…" The only answer to her plea was the sound of the heavy door being slammed shut behind them, plunging the room into silence as her head fell against the bars.

"So," came a low earnest voice of one of the men in the next cell. "Can we see some magic then?"

"Shut up!" Blair tuned to yell at them eyes blazing, and they recoiled slightly from the irate woman.

- - -

Satisfied with the fact that Mr. Brown was completely unconscious Jack sauntered back over to the workbench. Handing the hammer over to Lex he spread his chains over the anvil planted his feet and looked away closing his eyes. Nothing happened; after a moment of realizing that nothing was going to happen her opened one eye. The brown orb rolled in the direction of the girls who were staring at him blankly.

"What?" They asked in unison and he turned to look at them fully with both eyes open.

"Give it a whack." He encouraged with a nod of his head and clicking the chains against the anvil.

"It's not going to work." They again replied in unison then turned to one another with identical expressions of _'Stop doing that!'_ Jack was giving them both an annoyed glare.

"You can't know that." He insisted. "Now, give it a go."

Rolling her eyes, Lex sighed taking the hammer in both hands she brought it up over her head. Jack pulled his head back just as she brought the hammer down with all of her strength. All three looked away seconds before metal met metal and at the resounding twang of the strike and the strong vibration that traveled up Lex's arms, they turned a curious eye to see what had been done. The chains sat unfazed, almost mocking them with their solidness. Jack groaned to himself before turning on Lex.

"What's that then? That the best ye can do woman, don't just stand there an tap at it, put your back into it, you got to smash it!" There was a pause as she looked at him, eyebrow arched.

"Alright then," Was her simple reply before swinging at his head. Nat, anticipating the attack from Lex's expression, managed to grab hold of the instrument before it made contact with the pirate's skull. After a bit of a struggle to get Lex away from her would-be weapon Nat finally managed to pry it from her hands. No sooner did she have the hammer of death in her possession then it was snatched away by Jack who seemed completely unfazed by Lex's attempt at bodily harm.

The girls looked on in amusement as he attempted to break his own chains gaining nothing more then a flick of his wrist, which was getting him nowhere. After a few attempts frustration got the better of him and in a blur of hands he gave a go at pulling them apart. He lowered his hands defeated as his gaze moved to the two girls who were looking at him with the same smirk.

"What are you gawking at!" He barked at them, but his face suddenly changed as the proverbial light bulb went on. He wasn't looking at them anymore but at something behind them and the girls turned their heads following his gaze to land on the donkey.

As the girls watched the hapless creature Jack sauntered over to the fire pit and extracted a poker from the flames. Examining the hooked end of the red-hot instrument he gave it a twirl as he leisurely strolled back towards the donkey. A sickening hiss filled the smithy as he gave the animal a prod, a pained whiney from the animal and a slight whimper from Lex and the donkey was on the move and with him all the wheels and gears that filled the room.

"Poor donkey…" Lex muttered, Nat rolled her eyes as Jack tossed the poker aside. He was just about to hook his chains up over the gears when he turned back to his female companions.

"Ladies first," He announced in a charming tone motioning them to step forward. Natalie didn't have to be told twice, the word were barely out of his mouth when she dashed forward. Stringing the chain up she followed the wheel until the gears locked, the force of which snapped the chains binding her. Natalie was free, well almost she still had the remains of the irons on her wrists and she twisted them uncomfortably. "Come on luv," Jack urged Lex.

She moved forward stringing the chain up like Nat had done, Jack did the same a few pegs behind her, and like Nat their chains broke under the crushing force of the gears freeing their hands and allowing them to move as they pleased.

The three had no time to rejoice the fact however as the sound of someone at the front door prompted a run and hide.

- - -

Will walked into the smithy closing the door behind him. At the sights and sounds that greeted him he jumped down from the step and rushed to the aid of his assaulted donkey. A quick nuzzle and the animal was calmed down, Will proceeded to his workbench to carry on with his craft, pausing momentarily to check on the man in the corner.

"Right where I left you," he sighed with a grin tossing his coat aside. But as he turned back to his workbench, being neat and tidy as he was, he immediately noticed something was out of place. "Not where I left you," he commented plucking the hammer from where Jack had left it on the anvil.

His eyes then wandered to the tri-corner hat perched on his workbench. Will reached out a hand to pick it up but was suddenly stopped by the flat end of a sword coming down on his hand. He took a few steps back as he studied the man with the sword.

"You're the one they're hunting," Will stated as realization dawned on him. "The pirate." Jack studied the young man a moment before addressing him in a rather casual tone.

"You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?"

"I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates," Will shot back.

"Ah," Jack said. "Well, it would be a shame to put a black mark on your record. So if you'll excuse me." He turned to get his hat and froze at the metallic sound of a sword being drawn behind him. Jack turned around to face the young man holding him a sword point but he kept his own weapon down.

"Do you think this wise boy? Crossing blades with a pirate?" He asked in tone that held no fear of the young and undoubtedly inexperienced blacksmith.

"You threatened Miss Swann," Will accused, to that Jack brought his sword up and scraped it up and down Will's dangerously.

"Only a little," Jack smirked. Lex smiled from her crouching position as she watched the scene before her, she didn't know where Nat was as they had scattered when Will had entered. Jack struck thrusting his sword at Will.

The weapons clanged together as their blades met. Will was able to block Jack effectively making for a formidable opponent, but Jack was good he had swung twice at the pirate missing both times. Then the tables turned and Jack was on the defense. But none of this was getting Jack any closer to the door and so the two swordsmen came to a pause.

"You know what you're doing, I'll give you that," Jack commented. "Excellent form. But how's your footwork?" The pirate cross-stepped to his right, the blacksmith followed in his actions so they ended up moving in a circle. "If I step here..." The swords clanged together. "Very good." Jack complemented. "And now I step again," he promptly moved to the left, Will following again. Swords clanged and Jack ended up where he wanted to be with his back to the door, a clear path to freedom. He lunged forward with his blade forcing Will back a step in his attempt to block.

"Ta," He turned sheathed his sword and leapt up the step to the door, before he could open it however, Will hurled his sword. It plunged into the wooden latch pinning it so Jack was once again unable to leave.

It vibrated dangerously inches from Jack's head as he turned to frown at it. He grabbed the hilt stopping the rhythmic vibration and attempted to yank it out; it would not budge. And like with the hammer frustration got the better of him and he engaged in a frantic dance to release the sword from the latch.

Lex couldn't help but laugh at the spectacle and let a giggle escape before promptly clamping a hand over her mouth, but it was too late Will's gaze was now aware of her presence and his gaze was drawn to where she was crouching. Jack to heard the giggle and looked to see Will take a step in Lex's direction and so the pirate turned to confront the blacksmith.

"That is a wonderful trick," Jack said using a cart for a ramp and striding towards his opponent. "Except once again, you are between me and my way out." Will backed up towards the forge. "And now..." Jack drew his sword again. "You have no weapon."

Will reached out behind him and grabbed an unfinished sword that had been sitting partially in the fire the tip of which glowed red-hot. He pointed it at Jack whose look of confidence melted at the appearance of the fiery weapon. At the sight of the glowing sword, the donkey gave a worried whinny and began walking so as not to be poked again which in turn made the great wooden gears turn once more.

Will and Jack fought once again; sparks flying whenever the weapons struck. It lasted only moments however as Jack disarmed the young blacksmith who somersaulted out of the way snatching up another sword. The two began evading the moving wooden gears as well as each other and Jack noticed the large number of swords scattered about; they seemed to be just about everywhere.

"Who makes all these?" He wondered aloud as they fought around the wooden beam that separated them.

"I do," Will responded, voice filled with pride. Their swords met on one side of the beam. "And I practice with them..." They met on the other. "Three hours a day." Then the other.

"You need to find yourself a girl, mate," Jack replied grinning madly as they managed to work their way out from under the gears. As Will grabbed another sword Jack scooped up a hammer and threw it at Will, who dodged it and struck out with the two swords. Jack caught them with his weapon above their heads. "Or," he continued on as they held that pose. "Perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you've already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet." An odd expression crossing his face as a thought hit him. "You're not a eunuch, are you?" he asked, glancing down.

Lex almost died from holding back her laughter but Will was less then amused. "I practice three hours a day so that when I meet a pirate, I can kill it!" Will swung his swords backing Jack up onto the ramp Will following after causing the blocks that were holding it steady to fall away turning the ramp into a strange sort of teeter-totter. It did not seem to effect the two swordsmen much as the kept their pace only stugleing slightly to balance each other out.

With a twist and a flick of his sword Will managed to slip it through the chain that still hung from the iron around Jack's left wrist a thrust upward and Jack's arm was tethered to the wooden beam above them. Will quickly ducked as the unhappy pirate swung his blade in an attempt to take the blacksmith's head off. Stomping on a board, causing it to swing up and hit Will in the face knocking him on to the floor, Jack took the moment to heave himself up, planting his feet on the beam attempting to use his body weight to pull the sword free. It worked the sword let loose and down came Jack just in time to send an advancing Will flying up into the rafters as Jack rolled hitting his head on the step.

Recovering quickly, he sprung up looking for his opponent who had seemed to have disappeared, His gaze was drawn upward just in time to see Will slice through a rope holding a sand bag. The sand bag came down catapulting Jack up to meet Will in the rafters. At this point Lex had recovered sides hurting as she watched them disappear above her. Her brow furrowed as she tried to follow their movements but it was no good. She crawled out of her little hiding spot in order to get a good look just as the two came swooping back down the floor level, dust filled the smithy as Jack covered Will in ash and disarmed him.

Jack jumped down, drawing his pistol as the temporarily blinded Will snacked and raised a pair of metal tongs ready to use as a weapon, but when he turned around he came face to face with the barrel of Jack's pistol.

"You cheated!" Will stated accusingly.

"Pirate," Jack retorted simply.

The moment was lost for Lex as the Soldiers began banging on the door and she realized that they had drawn Will's gaze to her she could no longer hide and was trapped with Jack. Will leaped back to block the door which Nat and Lex had entered from the ally way cutting off their escape. "Move away!" Jack ordered.

"No," Will said, Lex let out a whimper as the banging from the officers attempting to break down the door intensified.

"Please move?" Jack asked almost pleadingly.

"No!" Will insisted standing firm. "I cannot just step aside and let you escape." Jack cocked his pistol.

"This shot is not meant for you," Jack said, giving Will one last chance to move out of their way. Lex opened her mouth to warn the unsuspecting scallywag but it was too late. The dramatic scene came to an end with the sound of broken glass as the drunken Mr. Brown's bottle made contact with Jack's skull. The pirate went down with a dull thud as Norrington and company burst through the door arrived heroically late. An assortment of red coats rushed in guns on Jack as if he were going to go anywhere.

"Congratulations Mr. Brown," Norrington remarked over his shoulder as he looked down at the unconscious pirate. "You've aided in the capture of a dangerous fugitive." Will rolled his eyes at the slurred reply of _'Just doing my civic duty sir.'_ But held his tongue in correcting just who did the aiding.

"Well, I guess we'll remember this as the day Jack Sparrow almost escaped." Norrington commented to the unconscious body, he then noticed something out of the corner of his eye and turned to see Lex making a dash for the door. "Stop her!" Norrington suddenly barked.

Lex froze in her tracks knowing the jig was up, jail time she could deal with but being shot in the back she wasn't to keen on so she raised her hands in surrender and did not struggle when she was escorted back to face the Commodore.

"Where is your companion?" His voice was calm and hard and Lex found herself unable to look the good Commodore in the eye, she did however retain her sense of sarcasm.

"Your guess is as good as mine, Pansy Man." She chanced a glance and noted the angry flare of his nostrils at his little nickname. He looked at Jack then back to the supposed witch.

"Take them away." With that Jack was heaved off the floor by two guards and they were escorted out of the smithy.

- - -

Blair paced the length of her cell for the billionth time in the past hour or so. She was hurt, slightly scared, and angry; mostly she was angry, and since she didn't want to break her knuckles on the stonework pacing was the only way to vent. Though she figured if she kept it up long enough she'd probably wear a whole in the floor from which she could dig her way out.

The sound of the large door at the top of the stairs opening broke her concentration and she looked to see what it was about. She figured release and an apology was too much to hope for and her musings were proven true as two guards made their way down the stone steps towing Jack between them, two more guards followed after but walking freely between them was Lex. Blair saw red as her eyes landed on her soon-to-be ex-friend and she lunged at the bars in attempt to reach and strangle the girl.

"YOU SKANK!" She shrieked as one of the officers removed the shackles from Jack's limp arms, Lex couldn't help the smirk that crept across her lips. "You wait till they lock you in here with me, there'll be nothing left for them to execute tomorrow!"

"Move away from the bars." One redcoat ordered as he unlocked the cell door. Blair complied not taking her icy glare off Lex who was having what was left of her shackles removed by a rather good-looking young officer.

Blair couldn't help but roll her eyes as Lex gave him a quick wink before striding into the cell still smirking. The two girls stood staring at each other as Jack was tossed in along with his hat. After a dull thud, a slight groan from the unconscious pirate and a metallic clang as the door was shut and locked the girls were left to their grudge match.

"You left me." Blair whined accusingly.

"So." Lex countered rather casually.

"So?" Blair repeated and the sound of her trademark squeaky indignant throat noise filled the cell. "So, you left me to rot in a cell with creepy ass pirates giving me the stink eye."

"Oh, please, you're just pissed cause you didn't make it when you tried to run for it and leave use behind! And it's your fault for not paying attention." Blair could not argue with the first statement, she had been completely ready to ditch them and run for her life.

"So where's Nat?" She questioned, skillfully sidestepping the issue of her blatant disregard for her friends safety.

"I don't know." Lex stated plainly, Blair cackled evilly.

"The ditcher has become the ditched." Lex rolled her eyes. "Well, this is all your fault you know." Lex's jaw dropped, not only at the accusation but at the casual matter-of-fact one in which it was stated.

"My fault?"

"Yes, you. You were the source of inspiration, you and your crackpot religion, which makes it your fault." Blair finished by crossing her arms and turning her nose up ever so slightly.

"Well what about your little role in all of this?" Lex asked slowly her nostrils flaring slightly, Blair shot her the I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about look. "You were supposed to keep the pot head at bay, but no, you let her over power you and start rambling on when I was just about to give them are alibi."

"Which was?" Blair asked convinced they would have been screwed at that point anyhow.

"We're passengers on a cargo ship out of South Africa headed for the Americas, which had stopped in Port Royal momentarily for supplies. With bigger piratey fish to fry they probably would have never bothered to check."

Blair processed the information and mentally kicked herself for not holding back Nat but her natural born stubbornness would never let her admit this was in any way her fault so she did what she always did in these types of situations; she changed the subject deflecting blame from herself.

"Well a lot of good it dose us now. You know a _real _witch would wiggle her nose and magic us the hell out of here." Lex's overall facial features did not change but here eyes suddenly became very hard and cold.

"And a good and proper Christian girl would be down on her knees right now prying to her good and fluffy Lord for a miracle."

"AH, BITE ME!"

"KISS. MY. WICCAN. ASS!"

Silence ensued as both girls turned their backs on each other crossing their arms huffily. For moments the only sounds in the room was the odd cough or sniffle their all pirate audience in the next cell. After glaring at the bars for a time Blair looked over her shoulder at the back of her friend's head.

"Friends," It was more of a statement then a question but she looked expectantly as Lex slowly turned.

"Till death," She mumbled with a roll of her eyes, they looked at each other then grinned. Lex gave a sigh and plopped down to sit across from Jack with her back against the bars. "You know whose fault this really is." They looked at each other again and uttered the same name.

"Natalie."


End file.
